Ep 60: Separation Strategies That Backfire
Heather Boyd, occupational therapist and mom of 3, shares ways that separation-based advice backfires and what to do instead.
When parents get advice that involves separation without any focus on attachment, it can block a parent's ability to help their children regulate. Whether it’s daytime meltdowns or bedtime shenanigans, separation can feel very alarming.
Listen to this episode for examples of bad separation-based advice that Heather wishes she’d ignored early on in parenting, and what to do instead.
With attachment-based perspectives and tools, as well as self-regulation tools for parents, the focus shifts to connection and co-regulation.
And with connection and co-regulation, the alarm of separation can soften.
Mentioned in this episode:
Gordon Neufeld: “Speak but not too much. Be close but not too close” www.neufeldinstitute.com
Kim Barthell: Be a behavioural detective. www.kimbarthel.ca
Parent Self-Care Toolkit https://heatherboyd.vipmembervault.com/products/units/view/1239883/?lesson=1601156
Ep 59: Managing a Sleep Emergency Part 2
In Part 2 of Sleep Emergencies, Heather Boyd, occupational therapist and sleep coach, explores a shift she has seen in her private practice away from “preventing” sleep challenges towards more sleep emergencies, and increased parent stress.
The impact on mental health is significant, and getting the appropriate support is crucial.
At a time when stress and information overwhelm are high, parents who are struggling with their child’s sleep are also experiencing feelings of guilt and shame. This only adds to the burden parents are carrying.
Listen in to explore:
How Bad advice can be worse than no advice at all.
How social media and information overwhelm are making parents feel like they are not measuring up
How to shift to more preventative measures when sleep or parenting is getting challenging
How creating a sleep emergency plan may actually lead to options you have not considered that actually help your baby sleep.
Why getting support can make all the difference
Ep 58: Managing a Sleep Emergency
What is a sleep emergency? How is it different than difficult sleep that needs coaching, and when is it a mental health emergency requiring medical attention?
Heather Boyd, occupational therapist and certified infant and family sleep specialist, explores these questions and offers strategies for getting support and managing a sleep emergency, including:
Signs and symptoms of a mental health crisis that warrant intervention without delay
Who to reach out to in a mental health crisis
Signs that what you are experiencing is a sleep emergency
What to do about a sleep emergency
How sleep coaching plays a role (and when it’s not enough)
Preventative steps for sleep emergencies
How to consider caregivers and feeding in a sleep emergency
Ep 57: Sleep Associations: The Good, the Helpful, and the Misunderstood
Sleep associations often get a “bad wrap”, being labelled as crutches or bad habits.
In this episode, Heather breaks down what a sleep association is, what it isn’t, and how to appreciate the role sleep associations have in making bedtimes more pleasant.
Sharing parallels with routines and habits we have during the day, as well as sleep associations that we as adults use, Heather makes a case for judgment-free sleep associations and why doing what works, and changing what doesn’t, is a helpful approach at any age.
What you can do next:
Subscribe to this podcast and share it with a friend!
Download the Baby Sleep Connection Podcast Listener Guide at www.familysleep.ca/links
inside the Confident & Connected Baby Sleep group program or one-on-one.
Find previous episodes of the podcast at infantsleep.ca/podcast
Ep 56: Laila on Her Personal Journey with Antenatal Depression
Laila, mom of two and host of the popular Learning To Mom Podcast, shares her personal story about discovering what prenatal depression is and why she has come to understand that prenatal depression may have been part of what made her unexpected pregnancy at age 24 so challenging.
This is a heartfelt conversation that runs the gamut from laughter to vulnerability.
Although the circumstances of Laila’s journey are unique to her, and where she found support may be different than for you, her message is important: when you understand your experience, and you know what may be happening to you, it becomes easier to get the support you need to survive and thrive at a very challenging time. It can also reduce the guilt and shame you may be feeling around how you are navigating pregnancy and motherhood.
In this episode:
Laila talks openly about her personal struggles and what helped her.
She outlines the common symptoms of prenatal depression, what the risk factors are, and 8 tips she has for families based on her experience.
If you are struggling with depression (prenatally, postnatally, or outside of pregnancy altogether), talk with your doctor or mental health professional today, be honest with what you are feeling, and get the support you deserve.
If you are the spouse, partner, or loving family member or friend who sees your loved one struggling, do not hesitate to help them get help.
Ep 55: The Language of Sleep-What is Your Baby Saying With Their Sleep?
What if your baby’s sleep was a language you just haven’t become fluent in yet?
It can be frustrating to try to figure out what interrupted sleep, resistant naps, or frequent waking are telling us. But if we start looking at this as a language we can learn, the cues become like words, and patterns begin to form sentences that help us understand what our baby needs.
Mentioned in this episode:
Listen to the clues that help you figure out sleep.
Know that sleep may be communicating something outside of sleep altogether.
The need for connection and safety may be the key thing your baby is communicating.
What are the clues we see when sleep is going well? (It’s not just long stretches of sleep!)
How do we translate what we are seeing with baby sleep when it’s not going well?
What you can do next:
Subscribe to this podcast and share it with a friend!
Download the Baby Sleep Connection Podcast Listener Guide at
Work with Heather inside the Confident & Connected Baby Sleep group program or one-on-one.
Find previous episodes of the podcast at
Ep 54: What If The Problem Isn't Your Baby's Sleep Schedule?
Have you been doing “everything right” with your baby’s schedule, following a rigid instructions of a nap and bedtime schedule you found in a book or online and still feel like sleep isn’t working?
Listen to 3 key perspectives that will have you rethinking your relationship to your baby’s sleep schedule.
Ultimately:
Sleep schedules are tools, not solutions.
Stress (in you or your baby) can lead to sleep disruptions that no schedule can fix. Address the stress, connect, and regulate the nervous system.
Regulation strategies that focus on connection help you see more clearly what sleep routine or schedule works best for your baby in this moment
Sensory strategies that use movement, proprioception, heavy work, and vestibular experiences are an important foundation to a regulated nervous system that can fall asleep more easily.
Ep 53: Three Things I Wish Every Parent Knew About Baby Sleep
Whether you are a first-time mom or have multiple kids, there are a few things Heather would want to share with you over a cup of tea (or decaf Americano) to make sleep development easier to navigate.
Listen in as she reassures listeners that:
Your baby is not broken (and you did NOT break their sleep)
Your approach is going to be unique and doesn’t have to follow the rules of any one approach.
There’s no “good enough parent club” you have to tick boxes in to be a member in good standing.
You deserve support and you aren’t supposed to do this all on your own.
Worth exploring after this episode:
Self-Care versus Community Care: Episode 18 of The Baby Sleep Connection with Mr. Chazz https://infantsleep.ca/podcast/ep-18-mr-chazz-lewis/
Ep 52: Birthing Through a Yoga Lens with Angela Sacco
Angela Sacco talks with Heather about how to give birth through the perspective of yoga.
In the interview we talk about:
How sounds during labour support opening of your cervix (and what sounds to make)
Breath, and its role in birthing your baby
How the vagus nerve supports you in staying in a regulated parasympathetic state and staying out of sympathetic fight or flight
The connection between fear and pain
Visualizing (and how it’s ok if it’s not a strategy that you lean on)
How much a sense of community is underestimated in supporting pregnancy and motherhood
The number one question parents ask Angela
Trusting your instincts
What you really need when you have your baby (spoiler: it’s not as much as you think)
Angela’s roles, past and present, as doula, yoga instructor, and owner of Between Mothers in St. Catharines Ontario
And much more
We also get interrupted by a phone ringing and a cat meowing (#reallife)
To learn more about Angela, go to betweenmothers.ca, facebook.com/betweenmothers
Ep 51: You Ask, I Answer: How to Bridge to the Next Connection and How to Reduce 2 Hour Bedtimes
You Ask, I Answer!
Join Heather as she answers questions about how to bridge to the next connection without interrupting the bedtime routine, and how to problem solve 2 hour bedtimes.
She covers:
What is bridging to the next connection?
How to use the Boomerang method of leaving your child at bedtime, but returning before they call out to you (or chase you out of the room!)
Ways to reconnect and build trust that you’re coming back
How to use connection, play, and song to allow sleep to happen.
Why 2 hour bedtimes are usually a timing issue
How to change naps, gaps (between last nap and bedtime), and bedtiming to solve 2 hour bedtimes
How total sleep in a 24 hour period can impact bedtimes and bedtiming
How to use temporarily late bedtimes to eliminate long bedtimes
How to role back bedtime to a reasonable hour!
Mentioned in this episode:
Episode 49 Bridging to the Next Connection https://open.spotify.com/episode/2Js2U8TkS53CdsnBpi1J5d?si=42a7b4021a894f55
Ep 50: Using Light to Support Sleep: A Conversation About Quantum Biology with Carrie Bennett
Join Heather Boyd as she talks to Carrie Bennett, a health educator in the emerging field of quantum biology, about using light to optimize health and sleep. Carrie has a background in biology, nutrition and body work. Her work is focused on supporting clients by translating and applying research and knowledge about using light and water for promoting optimal health.
In this episode, Heather and Carrie talk about:
Quantum Biology: what is it?
How to use natural light exposure to improve sleep and health
The value of true darkness at night
The biology of ultraviolet light
What times of day to consider light exposure
Carrie’s simple recommendations for increasing light exposure safely
UVA’s link to serotonin, melatonin, and tryptophan
Sunlight’s link to serotonin and healthy bowel movements
How where you place your lighting impacts your circadian rhythm
Red light blue light: what colour and kind of bulbs are best?
Why you can still get the benefits of light sitting on the grass in the shade of a tree
Ep 48: How to Handle the 4 Month Sleep Regression
Let’s talk about the 4-month sleep regression: what it is, what it’s not, and how to manage it.
In this episode, Heather Boyd, occupational therapist and sleep coach, explores what’s happening at the 4-month mark and how to move past the worry and fear about this stage of your baby’s development.
You’ll learn:
An alternative perspective on the entire idea of a 4-month sleep “regression
What’s happening in your baby’s brain and body at 4 months
Why sleep is sensitive at this stage
What makes this stage difficult for some babies
4 strategies for supporting your 4 month old baby
That if sleep is difficult, it doesn’t mean you’re doing it wrong
Ep 47: Nightweaning with Kim Hawley, IBCIC and Holistic Sleep Coach
If there was one theme in my practice in the past year, it was night weaning and how to do it with respect, reason, and responsiveness. So today’s episode is right on the mark.
My colleague and friend, Kim Hawley, IBCLC and Holistic Sleep Coach, shares perspectives and guidance on night feeding and weaning, and its relationship to sleep.
Kim Hawley, MA, MPH, IBCLC is a Holistic Sleep Coach, Lactation Consultant, Peaceful Parenting Educator, mom, and the host of The Responsive Family Sleep Podcast. She helps tired parents bring together developmental knowledge, sleep science, and their intuition to improve family sleep. Her specialty is holistic, responsive sleep support for babies, toddlers, and nursing families. Kim lives in Capitol Hill, Washington DC with her husband, 2 kids, guide dog, and cat. She loves running, listening to audio books, coffee, chocolate, and wine.
Listen for:
2 questions Kim wants parents to ask themselves when considering night weaning
What age may be easier to night wean (you might be surprised!)
What age tends not to be easy!
Feeding is more than calories
How the sensory system, nervous system regulation, and temperament play roles in night weaning
Perspectives on how much of a gamble to put on night weaning helping sleep
The fear Kim and I are seeing from parents about big feelings from your toddler
Setting loving limits
Kim’s favourite picture books about night weaning
Strategies for setting the stage for night weaning
Ep 46: From Reflexes to REM -Understanding Newborn Sleep Development
Wondering if your newborn’s sleep is normal?
In this episode, Heather Boyd, occupational therapist and sleep coach, breaks down what to expect in the first few months of sleep development.
Listen in to hear:
What sleep looks like in the first few months
What movements, sounds, and behaviours you’ll see in your newborn when they are sleeping
What reflexes, breathing patterns, and movement patterns you’ll see from your newborn
When sleep cycles and consolidated night time sleep start to develop, and what you can do to help
The role that routines play in supporting your baby’s sleep
Your role in supporting newborn sleep
Ep 45: How to (Attachment) Parent YOUR Way
Heather explores the pressure she felt as a new mom to “measure up” and be “attachment-based enough”. This pressure to be good enough is a theme that comes up often in her one-on-one and sleep group work.
In this episode, Heather explores:
“Attachment Parenting” and the 7 B’s
Why checklist parenting undermines what is truly important to you (and what to focus on instead)
The freedom in knowing that not every moment is perfect
The questions parents ask about whether what they are doing is attachment-based enough or if what they are doing is actually sleep training
The value of knowing what’s most important to you so that decisions are easier
Looking ahead at where you want your parenting to steer your family
Appreciating that you are in a season of parenting right now that requires some compromise
Ep 44: Babywearing with Jordan Morillo, O.T.
Baby wearing (carrying a baby on your body using a sling, wrap, or fabric carrier) is a popular and useful way of keeping baby close, and keeping a caregiver’s hands free.
In this episode, Heather talks with Jordan Morillo, maternal health occupational therapist, mom of one, and babywearing educator about the benefits and barriers to baby wearing. Jordan became inspired to start The Babywearing OT when she saw gaps in the perinatal care continuum after giving birth to her son.
Her evidence-based wisdom and passion for sharing information on the safety, merits, options and strategies for baby wearing leaves little doubt: babywearing is not a fad, but is a long-term helpful strategy that, with the right knowledge, can be done safely and easily.
When Jordan’s not working, you can find her caring for her plants, exploring local restaurants and boba tea shops, and spending afternoons on the couch, nap trapped.
Where to find Jordan:
Website: motherhoodtherapyservices.com
IG: motherhoodtherapyservices.com
Listen now!
Explore past episodes of The Baby Sleep Connection Podcast here.
Listen on Spotify, Apple Podcast, Youtube, or your favourite podcast platform.
Get the Listener’s Guide!
Sign up here to get access to the Baby Sleep Connection Podcast Listener Guide PLUS access to resources mentioned on the podcast including resources like:
The top episodes to get you started
The Tired Cues printable from Episode #46, and
“How Much Sleep Does My Baby Need” from Episode #13
Heather’s top book recommendations
Links to free resources
Next steps for getting more support
Ask Your Question!
Submit your burning sleep question!
I may answer it on an upcoming episode of The Baby Sleep Connection Podcast.
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I LOVE being the guest!
Explore my guest interviews below. Email me about being a guest on your podcast.
PODCAST INTERVIEWS
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Chasing the Connection
“Keeping the Connection Through the Night” Laura Newman, Speech Language Pathologist
Podcast interview, October 2023.
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Make Joy Normal
Sleep Matters: An interview with Heather, a woman supporting tired parents with Bonnie Landry
Podcast Interview, April 2022
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The OTs Gone Rogue Podcast
“Infant Sleep and Environmental Health” with Melissa LaPointe
Podcast Guest Interview at OTs Gone Rogue April 12 2021.
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Boss, Babies, & Bottles Podcast
Podcast guest at B3 Boss, Babies, & Bottles, 2021.
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Joyful Mud Puddles
Podcast and Guest Article for Parenting coach Meaghan Jackson at Joyful Mud Puddles
WHERE ELSE YOU’LL FIND ME
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Everyday Heroes
“What All Babies Need to Sleep”,
Guest Article, Everyday Heroes Pediatric Professional Website, ehkidshealth.com
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Joyful Mud Puddles
Podcast and Guest Article for Parenting coach Meaghan Jackson at Joyful Mud Puddles